Monthly Archives: December 2021

“Merry Christmas to all, and charge your devices tonight!”

Photo by cottonbro on

Twas the Night Before Christmas, and all around the house

Our robots were stirring, uncontrolled by a mouse

The dockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would charge there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of Candy Crush danced in their heads;

And Mom in her slanket, and I in my gown,

Had just tapped our smartphones to go power down,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But an electric sleigh and eight big robodeer,

With a little old driver so lively and quick,

More rapid than drones his deerbots they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“OK, Google! Hey, Siri! Alexa, on Prancer and Vixen!

OK, Cupid! On, Comet! On, Donner and Shenzhen!

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

Now flash away! Flash away! Flash away all!”

As tweets that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a firewall, spread far and wide;

So up to the rooftop the deerbots they flew

With the e-sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The crunching and tapping of each deerbot hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fleece, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with silicon and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

He looked like an eBay merchant just opening his Slack.

His iGlasses—how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a stylus he held tight in his teeth,

And his Oculus, it circled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a smirk,

And laying his finger aside of his Bose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team said “OK, GO”

And away the bots pranced like real deer in slo-mo

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

Merry Christmas to all, and charge your devices tonight!”

Adapted from “A Visit from. St. Nicholas,” by Clement Clarke Moore.

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